Monday, June 04, 2007

Dina Lohan, the self described “White Oprah” is vying for her own TV show now, more openly than ever before and the horrifying truth is, who on earth is at ALL surprised? What exactly happened to the Lohan parents early on in life or perhaps, if you’re Hindu, in a previous life, that has made the two of them so utterly hell bent on blindly bleeding their daughter dry.
The kid’s half dead right now and the mother is still flogging it to get that last drop of vicarious experience out. Talk about “Everything’s Coming Up Roses”.

Wait, just back to that whole “White Oprah” thing; you know the only kind of people who say things as delusional as “Yeah, I’m the White Oprah” are those rancid white trash truck stop skanks who are loud, nasally and demanding and have beaten down passive husbands. They’ve got a group of gal pals most of whom are silent and frightened.
Not the fascinatingly complex and grand rich ones who operate on a more psychological level and who demonstrate restraint. No, not them. Dina Lohan is one of the rancid common ones who watch reality TV while eating Domino’s Pizza, remain heavily made up all day and insist on wearing pastel coloured skin tight t shirts and leggings because despite the fact that their diets are entirely composed of comfort food made on an assembly line, in their minds it’s entirely possible that they’re as thin as Jennifer Aniston.
Plus, they have to have lots of jewelry. Like, cheap shit rings that are packed with colored cut glass on every finger. Plus, they relentlessly chew gum and talk while chewing but it’s a really obvious chew/talk type mouth movement.
The other thing that’s so nauseating about Dina Lohan is that you know she’s been whoring that tired old leathery cooch out to any pony tailed, smooth talking 80s styled “producer” who promises her a chance at the career her desperate lack of talent prevented her from having.
Mother of the Year.

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