Thursday, June 07, 2007

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

In Vermont, the trail against woman who made faces at dog has been cancelled because even though the application for trial was put in and was legally going ahead as far as everyone was concerned, when you think about it, it’s a totally fucking stupid waste of motherfucking time to take a woman to court for making faces at a dog. "Most of the time (in harassment cases) people would come tell the court what it felt like. Dogs can't do that," Orange County State's Attorney Will Porter said. Gee, you don’t fucking say. Still, it’s good that they ended this swiftly. Unlike that whole 54 million dollar pants suit (HA!) in New York unpleasantness. What these petty lawsuit people appear to need is a good bowelling. [source]

The tsunami early warning alarm went off in Indonesia and everyone got so freaked out. It’s probably what would happen if a terrorist attack siren were to go off in New York City. Actually, no, it couldn’t possibly be that manic. Anyway, so it went off…people screamed. When they realized there was no tsunami, they got so angry they just dismantled the alarm. Because it’s better to live with an ocean of hair trigger screaming anxiety under the surface than to have a non-perfect alarm system when it comes to living in a place prone to natural disaster. That’ll learn that curs’d alarm. If it can’t work properly well, it’s out of a job. Ha! [source]

Rob Lowe was playing golf in Iowa and he hit a ball. No news there. The ball flies into the air, travels through the aforementioned air and smacks into a bird knocking it out of the sky. Sounds unbelievable but it’s true. But that’s not all. The bird happened to be the state bird of Iowa making it a total statewide cultural faux pas. It’s also a really great thing because he gets the publicity and animal rights people can complain but he’s totally blameless. Unless he’s a genius of unparalleled proportions who also hates birds that is…in that case, maybe he should run for president. [source]

On the anniversary of the massacre in Tiananmen Square that was sponsored and orchestrated by the Chinese government against its own people, a lowly clerk at China’s Chengdu Evening News who didn’t know anything about the massacre let an ad tribute to the mothers of the victims slip by and be published. What happens next? Nobody answers their phones at the Chinese newspaper or at Communist party headquarters. It’s like that horrifying silence at a dinner party where no one knows what to say and everyone realizes that everyone at the table is rancid. The kind that rates well on reality TV.[source]

1 comment:

Jem said...

I have been reading your blog for a couple of weeks and this is by far your best work. Love it.