Monday, April 30, 2007

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

With the memory of Virginia Tech still fresh, the inevitable paranoid hysteria and over reaction to nuance is about due and to kick it off, Cary Grove high school student Allen Lee was just arrested for writing a graphic and disturbing essay and he was also dropped from the Military. With the recruitment standards slipping to pathetic levels – where recruiters are allowing older, less abled and insane people into the military to fight in Iraq because less sane people actually want to sign up – it seems like nothing more than a PR stunt, catering to public paranoia. The assignment given to Lee was to write an uncensored statement, essentially stream of consciousness writing which was not to be edited. He did that and the principal called the police and had him arrested. Of course, it certainly can’t be a small coincidence that not only did his statement ring hysterical alarm bells but that he’s also of Asian descent. It all looks so similar so it really must be exactly the same thing. Why exercise mature, professional, rational thought as a principal of a high school when you can drum up you 15 minutes of fame by having a student arrested for writing an essay? [source] Lee’s essay and explanation are available here.

Sleepless nights spent tossing and turning, racked with panic that your pet is stressed – just generally stressed about understandable things like the war in Iraq and the influence of the religious right on the White House, you know; the usual – are now possibly to be a thing of the past with the introduction of a tiny stick on patch, from the Japanese, which you can put on the paw of your cat or dog and it will indicate if the pet is sweating too much. This is actually great news for both pets and owners because now it’s possible to know when you should immediately pump your pet full of prozac – thus numbing the pain for them and at the same time, you get an excuse to up the amount you fret over your dog’s emotional health so you can stop thinking about the fact that you’ve been working as an executive assistant for three years and really need to make some kind of life decision. [source]

Perhaps inane, control freak Iranian lawmakers have been watching American Idol and have identified that the source of sparkling western power is centralized in one’s hair because all of a sudden, now that it’s Spring, barbers in Iran have been warned not to offer Western style haircuts or eyebrow plucking to Iranian customers. It’s all part of an effort to boost “ethical security” which, as far as causes go, is one of the most specific and important causes the Iranian government is facing and should be really taken extremely seriously. Eyebrow plucking among men, as everyone knows, induces demonic possession/womanly ways among men. [source]

No comments: