Friday, April 13, 2007

While those photos of Courtney Love on the beach in Hawaii make the rounds to fluctuating commentary that ranges from “You Go Girl!” to “What the fuck is wrong with her body?”, so too do the endlessly appetizing rumours about how Courtney Love’s recent weight loss is actually the product of gastric banding surgery. The rumours included speculation that the surgery was causing her to bring up her lunch and dinner uncontrollably in bed – so much so that she slept with a towel nearby so she could mop up the puke – well, that’s if she could get to sleep for all the worrying she was doing at the prospect of not being able to make out with people (seriously, those were the rumours). As is her custom, Love made a stern denial of such rumours in the clearest possible manner, exquisitely articulated and meticulously typed on her website . Love claims the weight loss was the result, actually, of healthy dieting and regular exercise only – not surgery but seeing as the notion of “health” and “Courtney Love” are about as synchronistic as a left voting, vegan lesbian rape victim and a cannibal Wall Street Republican banker, it’s more interesting to fantasise about where she bought her stomach. Seriously, where did she get that stomach? It looks like it was made by the same people who made Donatella Versace’s face – possibly some kind of Wax Company in the Middle East that has to work fast so the wax doesn’t melt – oops, it appears too late for that.

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