Tuesday, April 24, 2007

In an effort to mobilize the young babysitting cash earning teenaged girl contingent (once again) for their new reality show, the title of which, The Coreys: Return of the Lost Boys may just be the most brilliant part, MSN is granting us all the opportunity to get to know Corey Haim and Corey Feldman by asking for advice online. Is this some kind of trap? Clearly the conflict behind the concept is, “Oh goodness, but what advice would Corey Haim be able to (coherently) give my daughter besides how to shoot up an 8 ball covertly on a subway, how to make a little cash by selling autographed pork pie hats, hair gel and vests on ebay and how to score a quick 100 bucks by dancing around in an LA motel room in her underwear for a salivating, fat, balding pederast.” So, let’s just get this little recollection:

and, just for fun, this:

…out of the way immediately and then move on.

But the thing is, the Coreys were and in some ways still are a truly enchanting concept. They work as a good natured, married couple esque duo. If he keeps the padding off, Haim is the hot one who can’t quite keep his life together or manage to manifest the same freak success of his past and Feldman is the weirdly troll esque one who more or less can. They balance each other out and what they share is a desperation for cultural relevance that is a relief for viewers to see manifest on the screen rather than in their own daily lives. Plus, the sadistic tension created by waiting to see if Haim will fall into drug use any moment now should be a real treat at dinnertime.

Actually, this is a genius idea. There’s really nothing wrong with it besides the horror and cheapness. Unless you’re talking about the historically accurate reality shows like The Edwardian Manor House, there’s really nothing of any worth in Reality TV except the viewing equivalent of obesity inducing corn syrup anyway. Why not go with a throw back to the 80s and check in with the Coreys. Haim, despite it all, is still actually kind of hot and only mildly haggard. Feldman has had to learn to be clever because he’s still not magazine hot so the combination of hot and groggy meets average looking and acidic should prove to be top quality viewing. There is almost nothing wrong with this new show and column idea. It’s perfect. . [source]

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