Thursday, April 19, 2007

While people are playing it earnest and heralding the possibilities of inflatable breast implants for woman as a viable option for cancer patients etc. it’s virtually impossible to find the bottom of the list of things that are great about this genius new beauty option.

First and foremost, these are obviously an undeniable godsend for your average model who may have to dabble in street level porn every now and then to keep herself in coke and furs. One minute she could pump those mothers up to the size of soccer balls for a toothy grinned bukakke scene with a bunch of amateur frat boys and then, jump into a cab, press deflate and moments later, play the emaciated skeletal clothes rack with the body of a 10 year old boy that is so marketable in high fashion – all in the same day! With adjustable sized breasts you just doubled your chances at a career as both an emaciated, breastless high fashion model and a grotesquely over enhanced porn star.

Also, who can go past the fact that on a really basic level too – with inflatable breast implants one may never fear a dark and horrifying death through drowning. Sure you may be trapped on a transatlantic flight that’s plummeting from the sky into the ocean – there’s no stopping that from happening – but while the other passengers are scrambling to figure out how to put on the life vest like bickering caged rats who didn’t study the night before the exam you can just sit back, press inflate and have that one last mojito before the unpleasantness.

In fact, no matter what the scenario inflatable breast implants seem to spell freedom and choice in no uncertain terms. [source]

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