Thursday, April 26, 2007

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

Saudi Arabian tribes are gearing up to put their camels through the ringer and find out which is the most beautiful in the land in a camel beauty contest and it’s certainly about time. After all, religious laws state that women can’t compete so the next best thing IS a camel. Could there be anything more alluring for camel enthusiasts and laypeople alike than watching a full grown camel hobbling out on stage in a bikini, Vaseline on the teeth, innocuous general-use answer to inane question about the Third World ready and unique thigh slapping talent routine ready?

Well, there could be yes, actually. If only they had a camera backstage to capture the scene when the young camel contestant didn’t want to go out on stage because she was tired and fed up and her show mother camel, with vicious angry vicarious ambitious jealousy flashing across her tense face at the sign of reluctance in her daughter raises a be-jeweled hoof to strike her but then remembers that not even spackle can hide facial scars from the camera under those skin baking stage lights so she controls herself. Those moments are priceless and endearing. [source]

Every now and then there’s a report in the news updating the entire world about how popular this cheese webcam website ( is in the UK. Sometimes it appears to be a new story, other times it’s not and they’re just letting us know that yes, inexplicably, months and a million hits later, the interest in a live webcam showing a block of cheese maturing in real time is still interesting (Oooooh, hooray for ironic fascination!). And no, it’s not a web based reality TV show based on the daily life of Celine Dion (ha!). So, great…now we all know…again… that people like logging on to watch cheese mature. Thanks SO much Reuters, why don’t you write a book about it? [source]

Inner city dwelling dog owners who are sick to death of their small, chronically anxious, heart pill laced shih tzus constant attempts at breeding with the furniture can finally breathe a sigh of relief because the good folks at Feel Addicted have come out with a new product that is more or less a sex doll for animals. Thanks to a strapping young French designer (yeah, not a German…who knew?), rather than having to rapidly and energetically shriek an offer of more tea and take control of the conversation in a loud, distracting manner when guests are in the parlour and little Schnoopsy von Rape the Chair starts to actually rape… the chair, you can maintain the calm visage and simply usher the little canine nympho into the next room with the genius lifelike squishy object and close the door. Because, just like with needlessly prescribed Prozac and Christianity, there’s nothing more comforting than knowing that unsightly evidence of organic life can be controlled and effectively made innocuous with a product. Product requires regular washing. With soap. [source]

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