Friday, April 27, 2007

We’re really at a horrifyingly exploitative and fascinating point with the Anna Nicole story. It’s pretty clear that even with a good old reliable gay rumour coming out about Larry Birkhead, no one really cares that much now that we know for sure that he’s the father. Hell, it was a real ask waiting for the results anyway because the story is so utterly lackluster that it was obvious who the father was from the moment Birkhead stepped onto the scene. Anna diaries didn’t sell for anything near what they were expected to sell for, there’s less in the actual news about it, not that many people really seem to care except Entertainment Tonight and the glossy mags like Us Weekly who seem to be covering the story out of ego, until it's truly dead in the water.

So now, with no one really that interested, and also with no real plot developments, it seems like the players are getting frustrated and are losing all sense of reality – or what little sense they had in the first place. Virgie Arthur still seems on the verge of plummeting through the earth’s crust due to her colossal size (Hey! That’s mean!) – and so, having lost most of her footing in her battle for the kid she was never going to get, she’s filed a frivolous request to make sure Larry Birkhead not be able to leave the Bahamas which was almost immediately denied by Bahamian courts. What a surprise. 98% of the kids who read voted she should stop doing anything at all and go home and if that’s anything to go by she’s really shooting herself in the foot by not responding to ratings.

Entertainment Tonight, on the other hand, are investing a lot more time in covering the MOVIE of the story rather than the story itself. That means we can more or less repeat the entire thing again, but with stage lighting and makeup and hypothetical interviews and more paid for exclusives. Willa Ford, the F-List actor playing Anna Nicole was quoted as saying,

"I think I understand her a lot, in the sense that you come out as a sexpot, but deep down inside you're not exactly that person,”

Oh, wow, spiritual and human authenticity! Hooray! Who knows, maybe we’ll find out a little down the line about how Ford really invested a good 3-4 years prior to this role as a truck stop ho too. Seems fairly likely if her desperate, soft core resume is any indication. The similarities might just be uncanny! Better watch ET relentlessly to find out!

ET are hammering it out that they have the exclusive footage from behind the scenes as though it’s actually just the real story – again. Hello? What the fucking hell is wrong with just about everything? This is on par with Bill O’Reilly and Rush Limbaugh posing as journalists. Oh, who are we kidding, the people watching ET with no irony ARE the people who prop up Bill O and Rush Limbaugh. [source] [source]

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