Anyway, so there are wooden floor boards in my apartment which look great but they hide a terrifying secret beneath them – no water proofing. When you also consider that I live in a basement apartment, rain means leaks. Every time it has rained over the last 2 years a little more water has seeped up through the floor boards and the boards themselves are actually buckling. This time, the water didn’t seep. It was almost geyser like and it was also really dirty water; the color of coffee. After about an hour, of rain on Sunday afternoon, most of my apartment was one inch deep in water. What did the puddle fiasco actually look like?
Well, I’m glad (I have taken it upon myself to assume) you asked because Chris, whose ass (see left) is the Official Ass of www.reluctantwhore.com took time out from tirelessly and selflessly lying about my apartment naked and went to the trouble of documenting the minor oceans gathering in my apartment – for anecdotal use at parties. Those photos are posted below.
Then, with the help of a water vac like this one:
I’d point out that Britney Spears grabbed a member of the paparazzi and recorded an impromptu public statement which makes us all wonder if she’s actually a genius, ironic, post modern trail blazer in terms of how to deal with endless speculation surrounding your own personal life in the media rather than just the victim of a prolonged public nervous breakdown. Here’s the actual footage:
Similarly, I would point out that you could find out about how Richard Gere kissed a Bollywood star and massive disapproval erupted in India because that kind of public display of intimacy is not acceptable in Indian culture. People burnt effigies of Gere. What a waste of fire. [source]
If I weren’t having to quickly deal with leaks in my bathroom as they arrive to avoid the situation becoming worse than this:
then I’d certainly write more about how the absurdity that has become American Idol (avec Sanjaya), has actually seeped over into the Presidential race and someone called in for a radio interview with Hilary Clinton and asked what the US could do about Sanjaya Malakar and she said it was the best question she’d been asked in a long time. [source]
Also, if you look at these photos:
Seeing as it’s so completely not news, I don’t really need to go that far into the reports that Lindsay Lohan actually fell down on the way to her car on the weekend [source] probably because she was drunk but it’s also likely that her pesky general lack of anchor to reality contributed to her equally pesky lack of equilibrium. Similarly, the fact that Anna Nicole’s diaries didn’t actually sell on ebay.com over the weekend [source] could indicate a decline in public apathy towards the massive corruption currently sweeping the Executive Branch of Federal Government [source]. But sadly, it seems unlikely with all the hysteria surrounding Don Imus needlessly taking up air space.
Also, incidentally, the ceiling near my bed looks like this: