The Reluctant Whore

Most of the time, on American Idol Paula Abdul manages to scrape together enough of her conscious mind to put together a few comments that are at least clear even if they lack any kind of real critical edge. It becomes increasingly clear, however, that those few moments of smiling fluffy innocuousness on national television are all the coherence she can possibly muster up. Who could forget this little gem of what ended up being, thanks to the Internet, a national appearance last year?

Oh, heavens…good times, good times…


Is it too much to point out that every other time she steps out of the house she’s pepped up on so much whatever the hell it is she takes that a sentence is, apparently, out of the question?

Promoting her own jewelry line on QVC on the weekend was, it seems, no exception to the "I only stop medicating for the few hours surrounding American Idol" rule either. As with the Fox News interview above, what’s even more horrifying/enchanting than watching Paula completely fail to form specific, pre-considered thoughts and sentences, is watching the clearly traumatized host sit there and try to light heartedly brush off the drugged out freak show. But, at the end of the day, until Paula Abdul actually vomits uncontrollably, looks up at the camera, wipes the puke out of her eyes and starts screaming at person X for robbing her of a childhood/sense of hope/that last valium, people will probably still buy whatever she wants them to. No big deal.[source]