Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Just when we thought Britney Spears was getting back into the swing of things and burning off all that fat she put on while more or less creating foie gras out of her liver by relentless shoveling shitty food and alcohol into her gullet to numb the agony of her marriage breakdown, it’s revealed that not everything is as it seems.

Sure there are fabulous new photos of her svelte new bod that follow on from numerous emphatic gossip items placing her in Japanese restaurants eating raw fish and sipping water calmly with friends and no toxins in sight but apparently that’s all just PR fluff. If new reports are to be believed she’s either been having the unmarketable chunks of fat that remain hanging off her cut up, vacuumed out or, rather fascinatingly, through a totally dangerous procedure called Lippodisolve that involves being injected hundreds of times with a compound (probably Lecithin) designed to dissolve fat forever. Of course there's very little research that proves Lippodisolve works or is safe, but why let that stop Britney and indeed, now probably all of Middle America from paying through the nose for it. Thin is all that matters.

So, at the end of the day, it’s a brand new Britney on the outside but the same old white trash, emotionally distraught human foie gras guts within.


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