The Reluctant Whore

Finally those few, unmanaged and unreasonably crippling moments between getting out of bed, having a shower and downing that first cup of brain shaking caffeine are a thing of the past with the introduction of caffeinated soap called shower shock. Has inventing things now just become about getting something, like anything at all, and putting caffeine in it? There’s nail varnish with green tea in it, moisturizer, donuts, coffee with so much caffeine in it it’s called Meth coffee, caffeinated drinks with twice the caffeine, water, gum, aspirin, mints. What we seriously need here is caffeinated pants, not another consumable product like gum or toothpaste. Actually toothpaste would be great but really, if one of Alexander the Great’s people was killed with a poisoned shirt – indeed, what exactly is a poisoned shirt? – then it shouldn’t be too hard to get caffeine into pants. Imagine the walking you’d get done! The goal here is to make sure there isn’t a natural moment where caffeine isn’t available without having to think about it. [source]