Some kid in Essex, UK apparently became far too passionate and fascinated about his own fecal matter and stuck his head too far into his toilet training seat and it got stuck. An alternate explanation, as in, apart from the 2 and a half year old is a scatological freak” one I just gave is that the mean 2 and a half year old bullies from day care actually flushed his head but he didn’t say anything because he wanted them to think he was cool. Regardless, firefighters helped get the kid’s head free. Because when in doubt about what to do with your toddler whose head is stuck in a toilet seat, take your kid to see the men who put out fires. Well, why not – they get cats out of trees apparently. [source]
Obviously no charges were filed by Berlin police who were alerted to the presence of a sleeping man and horse who had shat all over the ground of an ATM foyer at 4:15am. What exactly was the crime? Getting drunk? Wallowing around in a space where your face is inches from freshly laid dung? All seems pretty run of the mill German to me. [source]
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