Tuesday, April 10, 2007

As we sit here and wait, our fingers a-tappin', desperate to find out for sure exactly who the father of Anna Nicole's baby really is, there's a deafening silence. It's a deafening silence so deafening that no, secretly unhappy Entertainment Editor could possibly sit through and as a result you have the current line up of stories making headlines on TMZ.com. Working backwards, we’re still being kept, during this deafening silence, on the subject of Anna Nicole to keep us interested but there’s actually very little in each of the stories reported – to the point where they’re not really stories so much as they are filler. Obvious filler.

Debra Opri is quoted as saying that Larry Birkhead would “happily” pay the bill she sent him even though so much of it had nothing to do with his case. What the fuck kind of story is this? It’s barely even a complete thought let alone a story. [source]

Ok, but anyway – moving on: Larry Birkhead’s arrival at the court, including what he wore. Ok great. a gray suit. Astonishing. Let’s do this one soul crushing step at a time. Yes, Larry Birkhead is at the court now. [source]

Ooh – look! Now Howard K Stern is there. He’s silent though. Silent as a terrified mouse. Heavens! What could the outcome possibly be!? [source] And finally, Virgie Arthur is there. She wouldn’t miss it for the world. [source]

Still reading TMZ? Well, we don’t have much for you so now we’ll just cut to the chase but don't give up on us! Now, there’s nothing left. We’re literally reporting that we’re just waiting.

And here we are. Waiting in crippling suspense for the outcome of a test which there has got to be no one left who doesn’t already feel confident in knowing the outcome of anyway. [source]

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