Tuesday, February 05, 2008

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

A traditional Shrove Tuesday pancake race in Britain was tossed off the menu due to overbearing health and safety regulations, newspapers reported and you know what? I’m not surprised one bit. A couple of years ago there was this insane push in Britain to basically outlaw every single tiny thing you could possibly think of when it came to enjoying Christmas – banning decorations, outlawing mince pies, cancelling parades. It was a shrill suburban private school mother’s dream come true – endless pointless crap to fuss over and feel important. Now, here we are again. All these people wanted was pretty much what anyone else would have wanted on a Tuesday morning; to run along while flipping pancakes and then bang, health regulations ruined everything. “The main issue is the cobbled street that people could slip on. This stupidity never happened previously. It's a shame these issues stop the children enjoying such a traditional event," Organiser Bernard Bateman told The Times. Yes, it is a shame, for the children. Somehow, I suspect it’s not a shame for that a tight lipped group of cardigan wearing, tea sipping, VERY busy mothers in suburbia who are very happy. Actually, there’s one mincing gay man in the group who votes conservative and one pussy whipped straight man who never speaks as well. They’re a difficult group, they really are. [source]

After enraging the French president and his bride by using them in an advertisement, budget airline Ryanair is promoting its flights in the Italian press as a way of escaping piles of trash that are choking the city of Naples which makes Ryanair the Ann Coulter of airlines. To be fair, I heard that Naples deals with the unpleasantness of what their homeless people look like by putting them all in a bus, driving them to the top of a hill and then letting them walk back down. It takes a full day for them to return. I mean, I can’t qualify that with any real “evidence” but I put it to you that my conviction and tears should be proof enough. "The only rubbish to be escaped from is Ryanair's advertising," said Marco di Lello, head of tourism at the regional government of Campania of which Naples is the capital. "I am disgusted by this exploitation by an airline which has never even flown to Naples," he told Ansa news agency. Well well well, touché Naples guy.[source]

Three legislators from Mississippi put forward a bill last week which essentially stated that restaurants should be barred from serving people who are obese. They got their pictures in the newspaper and everyone was talking about it. Well, mostly they were talking about how stupid the law would be and how fat the legislators themselves are. I know I was, at dinner parties and also to random people in the street. Anyway, it turns out the entire thing was not ever meant to actually create a law, just to highlight the fact that 30% of adults in Mississippi are obese and to stimulate debate and understanding. Perhaps debate isn’t what needs stimulating. Perhaps it’s the thyroid gland of 30% of adults that needs stimulating. Either that or their sense of self control when it comes to deep fried anything with frosting on top. So, the point was that these legislators are now claiming that they merely wanted the rest of the country to know that 1 in 3 Mississippi adults are obese and that makes it the state where, as a gay man, you’re least likely to get laid unless you’re totally freaking drunk. Which you’d have to be to stay there. I kid, I love Mississippi. When I spell it I get to sing that “Mrs M, Mrs I, Mrs SSI…etc” that my grandmother taught me and I find that nostalgically cute. [source]

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