Friday, February 15, 2008

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

Mariam Amash recently applied for a new Israeli identity card, said she was born 120 years ago — a claim, if confirmed, that would make her the oldest person in the world. Look at her life hardened face; such old woman realness! The Guinness Book of Records currently lists 114-year-old Edna Parker of Shelbyville, Indiana, as holding that title and I’m glad this made the news, frankly. Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life it’s that the mind of an elderly, probably illeducated peasant usually works like a steal strap and anything they say should be immediately written down as solid law. This is especially the case if the elderly person in question lives a life that is noticeably dull or they suffer from Alzheimer’s. Sabine Haddad, a spokeswoman for Israel's Interior Ministry, confirmed that Amash, from the Israeli Arab village of Jisr a-Zarka, is listed in the population registry as having been born in 1888. "We're just not sure it's correct," Haddad said. Well, look, let’s figure it out! A lot is at stake here. Actually, this is fascinating: it’s the word of an elderly woman who claims to be 120 against the logic and bureaucratic process of a government office. Why, this could be a play by Beckett happening in real life. [source]

In Australia, Melbourne’s Arts Centre spire is under attack from a small but persistent flock of sulphur-crested cockatoos who fly down to the spire and break light globes on it. To deal with this problem, flocks of peregrine falcons and wedge-tailed eagles, both natural predators to the cockatoo, will be released to scare off the pesky peckers in a program run by conservation organisation Full Flight and can I say that while this sounds like a great idea NOW, it might not be such a great idea in the future. Australia means well when it uses biological pest control but I think sometimes the theatrical spectacle and attention Australians get from using it gets in the way of long term logic. I mean, the cane toad is still a crippling menace in Queensland after it was released into the wild to kill the cane beetle. My only question is, at what point will releasing bigger predators into the air cease? The falcons will become and issue and they’ll have to ship in Bald Eagles from ‘the US at a massive cost. Then after that they’ll have to ship in winged monkeys and after that winged lions and then fire breathing dragons and the only thing that can kill fire breathing dragons as far as my own study of science goes is the Blair Witch from the Blair Witch Project. So, it just gets really expensive after a while. Apart from this I got nothin’ else. [source]

1 comment:

fiona peel said...

i thought Gryphons kill dragons?