Thursday, February 07, 2008

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

A recent study conducted by Israeli doctors among mountain climbers in Africa found a link between erectile dysfunction drugs and improved performance in high altitudes, the mass-selling Yediot Aharonot reported on Thursday and that means that the Israeli army is now apparently considering giving its airforce pilots Viagra before they go into the air. I wonder, were they doing badly? I mean, porn stars and go go dancers that I know take it and some of them say it makes them feel flushed and uncomfortable and it would seem that flushed, uncomfortable, priapism suffering military personnel flying through the air at top speed might be a difficult thing. Oh, what am I talking about – sure, give them Viagra. The reason this story got printed was because of the old Benny Hill appeal. If it were about aspirin it never would have made it in. Here of course – it’s the slapstick hilarious Viagra and as such, all I can think of is bikini clad women with ludicrous fluffy hair running around in circles beneath the wheels of the aircrafts. I mean, I guess that’s kind of bizarre so whatever. I’ll take that. [source]

An estate agent who took a prospective buyer to view a house in central England found the owner hanging dead in a closet, the agency said on Thursday and we all know what that means. It means that Beetlejuice is now happening in real life in England. No one had better buy THAT house or a young Alec Baldwin and Geena Davis will make friends with their morbid daughter and everyone will dance and eat shrimp uncontrollable. A couple of films have begun happening in real life of late; I think Donnie Darko happened a few weeks ago in Russia when an aircraft chunk hit a house and now this. The great thing about this is that it was the English who experienced it. "It was quite a shock," said a spokesman for estate agents Hartleys. "Our agent quickly ushered everyone out, locked the property and called the authorities." Why, someone almost coughed! They held it in though. If this had happened in America a swarm of prayer groups would have flocked in, children would be singing (for some reason), the Westboro Baptist Church would find a way to link it to the gay agenda and eventually Anderson Cooper would fly there and to try and keep them all honest. Then someone would pitch the movie idea to Lifetime. Someone rancid would do that. [source]

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