Wednesday, February 06, 2008

If you look at the reports about Britney Spears it’s clear that all of a sudden her inane soap opera life is unraveling at a more alarming rate than it has over the past year. Who knows why; maybe because it’s was Super and Fat Tuesday yesterday and with all that Super Fat, Brit is letting it all hang out. Even though it’s clearly you know…tragic etc. that Britney is bipolar and in hospital because she’s incapable of functioning on a day to day basis, these new plot developments are so much more meaty than the usual day to day grind of frap, underwear, gas station, Adnan Ghalib yelling at photographers, leaving her assistant at a gas station, missing a deposition etc. It’s good to have new quality material.

So, the basic rundown is:
At 3pm yesterday it was reported that Britney has a restraining order out against Osama Lufti and there are rumours that he has cut her phone lines and hidden her phone chargers. He also apparently tells her she is trash and a whore and that she doesn’t deserve her children. Osama Lufti also claimed that Adnan Ghalib is gay. [source]

Britney’s father, Jamie, was unable to go and see her during the Super Bowl because he had to cook for a party. He’s a caterer and continues to run his own business despite the fact that his daughters are worth more than God. I mean, not quite God, more like a demigod. OR a Demiglace. Oh GOD. Britney apparently called her father several times asking where he was during the Super Bowl and he told her he had to work. No word on what he was cooking. For some reason I keep thinking chicken fingers with some kind of chipotle mayo dip. That sounds like the kind of thing he’d make. He later went to see her and she more or less snubbed him. [source]

Britney’s father also thinks that Osama Lufti stole things from Britney. It’s amazing how few people in LA actually managed to sink their teeth into Britney Spears while she was on the run and insane. She seems like a lame duck target and she’s worth 40 million bucks. All the press attention she gets, while sucking out her soul, probably protected her from a ton more people that might have latched on if she hadn’t been famous. Sort of like when you get gangrene and you’re in the Amazon jungle and you’re drifting on down the river and your foot is dangling in the water and the piranhas eat away all the diseased flesh. It’s like, the only reason you survive is because a fish ate your foot. Isn’t that unexpected? [source]

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