Thursday, February 07, 2008

Kirstin Dunst is now at Cirque Lodge, the celebrity rehab center that has treated Richie Sambora and Nicole Richie. Seeing as there have now been several recent admittances to rehab due to emotional issues and apparent substance abuse, the list for celebrities riding the current wave of mental illness publicity is now closed.

Reports from E Online state that she was checking herself in for substance abuse and broke down crying as she did it. If Britney hadn’t pioneered mental illness as a talkable subject among celebrities we would never had been given that last bit of information. It would have just been a celebrity rehab story. Now, emotional complexity is bankable.

But anyway, any celebrity who jumps on the depression/rehab bandwagon from NOW ON officially sucks and is a fraud. There’s really only room for about 5 in any wave of hyped up stunts. I mean, if someone besides Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt bought a kid from a foreign nation right now they’d be really lame. Angelina Jolie sort of owns “buying children” at this point, I think we’re all pretty much in agreement with that.

Kirstin Dunst is an unusual case though because she is a consistent, undeniable train wreck whom people actually dislike because she is so reliably drunk. A while ago I went on a date with this guy who works in a gallery in Chelsea and he said that whenever he sees her she’s totally hammered and that she comes into his gallery all the time. She’s done the hard yards and has gotten herself a little cred when it comes to her tendency to hammer out the booze so she gets a little leeway. I mean, it’s sort of the same with someone like Liza Minnelli. If Liza checked into rehab you’d let her get away with it but say, if Tinsley Mortimer, Joan van Ark or Lisa Kudrow did I’d be red flagging them. I would hold up a red flag and issue them with fraudulent papers. I would do that because they aren’t really depressed alcoholics, they’re simply dancing the dance of a publicity hungry, out of work public figure. Dancing I tell you. [source]

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