Friday, February 29, 2008

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

Malaysia has found nearly 9,000 people aged more than 100 on its electoral rolls as it heads for general elections next month, raising suspicions that the books are "contaminated" with dead voters. “We plan to apply to the Guinness Book of Records to list them as the world's oldest voters if they truly are still alive and kicking," said party spokesman said.” And that’s actually a really great thing. It means that Malaysia is finding a use for its incredibly old people. In the west, the elderly are often considered furniture or “financial drains” but in Malaysia they a marketing ploy and a political weapon. And indeed, what a fascinating place certain communities of Malaysia must be with all those old people walking and kicking around. Communities of people over 100 would be like a day in an amusement part except slow and probably medicated. [source]

The guard service charged with defending Russian President Vladimir Putin has posted a $21 000 tender for a small army of rodents - but will not say what they plan to do with them. Bids on the order apparently closed yesterday so anyone hoping to be the official supplier of mice to the Russian president that didn’t get their powerpoint presentation in by yesterday is out of luck and can’t apply. Still, isn’t it great that Russia is now probably as certifiably insane as China? In one hilarious move they have managed to embody what it means to be a crazy dictator run nation that could potentially rival China in that respect. It means that when China finally implodes from placing so many inane demands on its people because of the Beijing Olympics - we’ll have another country to take its entertaining place. That aside though, I have to say, if they’re planning on training an army of spy mice then they’re wise to do so. Mice are small and can get in anywhere plus they have an element of evil in them – primarily because of how much they resemble rats. They aren’t as evil as rats so I don’t think you could call this mouse army an “EVIL” army but they’re still kind of spooky and scary. An army of running mice look like a furry flood and let me say, I wouldn’t want to be washed over by THAT. I love that the Russian government refuses to explain why they need so many rodents. Like it’s a massive issue of national security. [source]

The chief executive of the Victoria’s Secret, known for its provocative televised fashion shows and alluring stores, made an admission yesterday. In her mind, the brand has become "too sexy" -- or at least the wrong kind of sexy. "We have so much gotten off our heritage," CEO Sharen Jester Turney said in a conference call with analysts. Responding to the past year's weak sales and focus-group feedback, she said, "We will return to an ultra-feminine lingerie brand to meet [customer] needs and expectations." Oh good. Back to the heritage of Victoria’s Secret. What is that? Long flowing 9 layer petticoats where women can show an inch of ankle and everyone faints in shock. Oh yes, please do that. It would be great to live in a state crippling sexual repression again. Excellent. Good old porn material by default. [source]

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