Monday, February 11, 2008

TMZ reports that Avril Lavigne was seen hanging out with Britney’s apparent cousin, Alli Sims. Did anyone ever figure out if they really were cousins or whether it was just a line that girls who have sleep over use. It seemed to go back and forth as to whether or not they were related.
This tiny little news report is actually really fascinating to me because it really explains a whole lot about who Britney, Alli Sims and Avril Lavigne actually are when it comes down to a marketable identity.

Sims was hanging in there as the assistant to Spears for a while before the Brit Meister started to crack and then she had to make a leap for a career or all that time would have been wasted. So, she launched her cover of “On My Own” via her website and hoped someone would care. I’m fairly certain no one did. IT was interesting that Sims made no mention of Spears in her bio paragraph. Although, I mean she’d be damned if she did and damned if she didn’t. Incidentally, why does she look 40 all the time. Like, a 40 year old divorcee who pulls her hair back. She also sort of has Kathleen Robertson's nose.

Similarly, Avril Lavigne, the shrill little spoilt brat pseudo punk who was created (at the same time as Pink) entirely to cash in on the anti-Spears dollar has been at a loss as to how she can really go out and perform the rebel routine when Britney Spears is having a complete public meltdown that is entirely sincere.

So, now the two are hanging out together – Lavigne desperately needs someone to work off and Sims still needs to sponge off fame but she can’t get close to Britney because Britney might accidentally kill her or something. Consequently, here we are. The two of them commiserating and seeing if they can work together. Who knows, maybe Lavigne will talk about how she beat up Alli Sims in a bar fight in her next interview with the always edgy Cosmo Girl while Alli just stands there hoping no one will notice she’s just human long enough for her to get an actual job.

Interestingly enough, with these two Britney Spears still calls the shots even when she’s clinically insane. I’m voting for Britney. [source]

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