Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Because she knows that it’s more than likely no one will actually see her film “Penelope” when it comes out (I mean, it co-stars Christina Ricci for Christ’s sake), Reese Witherspoon it doing the old Ann Coulter trick and saying inane things to get attention and illicit a response.
Page Six Magazine has reported that she has said:

“Those are sort of formative experiences. I wouldn’t want my children to miss out on any of that teasing and bullying. Don’t you think it kind of makes you who you are — when you don’t make the soccer team?”

Which is true to a certain extent but I would think that someone who had actually managed to work in the entertainment industry, would want her kids to miss out on the bullying and teasing that caused, at least in this case, her to become a megalomaniac gorgon. Because that’s what these hardcore leading actress bitches become. I mean, Reese Witherspoon has a nice sweet face and clean blond hair that looks like it would smell of daisies or whatever, but you know she’s just like Dolly Parton deep down. She smiles all the way into the boardroom and then when the door closes her eyes go red and she slams her tallonned fist on the desk and demands results and money.

To be fair though, she’s totally spot on about over-praised kids:

“That’s the thing that drives me crazy about today: Everybody wins the award, everybody’s the MVP? No! They’re not, OK? I distinctly recall the two weeks of crying because I didn’t make the volleyball team. But it made me interesting, you know?”

Although, paradoxically, she wouldn’t be half as bankable as an actress if she didn’t rely on foundationless hype. I mean, I watched American Psycho the other night where she just plays herself and a while ago I saw Vanity Fair. Legally Blonde was cute and gay men went nuts for it but I mean, ok wow. I so just don’t care. She’s no Tilda Swinton. Actually, I watched Vanity Fair like 2 years ago and I still resent having that two hours of my life stripped away.

So, in short, Reese Witherspoon wants her kids beat up because she thinks it will give them character. She also thinks people get too much praise for nothing as children. Both are reasonable ideas except they’re completely unapplicable to her children. As if the kids of Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe won’t be made into demi-Gods at Dalton or wherever the hell they go. What could they possibly be teased for? Crippling beauty? [source]

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