Friday, February 29, 2008

Nicole Ritchie has been offered the role of Roxy Hart in the Broadway production of Chicago which proves without even a skerrick of doubt that that show is headed into the toilet. I mean, it was already on the rocks when Ashlee Simpson and Lisa Rinna headlined but now that they have the former “had to be funny cause she was fat” attache to the wilting zeitgeist, Paris Hilton – its official.

Firstly, I don’t remember a time in my adult life that Chicago wasn’t playing some respect and God damn it I just don’t CARE anymore. I mean, it’s been going longer than the terror threat by like 3-4 years and now with Nicole Ritchie thinking about taking the lead, I think we’ll all agree it’s become its own cultural terror threat.

I just love this quote from the article:

"You have to be able to act, dance and sing," Robert Viagas, founder of tells Us. "And if you're able to pull off all three, the entertainment world notices."

Ok, so do we have time to go into how many freaking ways that is probably the stupidest thing anyone has ever said? New York City is filled with people who can act, sing and dance that no one ever notices. And frankly, was anyone in any doubt that that’s what Broadway required? In this instance, it seems that actually – the exact opposite is true. You actually just need to be the most unnecessarily famous person ever to be considered for a head lining role on Broadway. No actual talent necessary.

I remember watching a documentary about how Fran and Barry Weisler got Ute Lemper to star in their premiere production in 1998 or something and it was all very glamorous and then they came out with the fashion and the film and the make up and the relentless churning through b-grade celebutard cast members and then there was the stint where Melanie Griffith just decided to play in Chicago because Antonio Banderas was in New York starring in a production of Nine and she freaking just wanted something to do.

Are you a celebrity wife with nothing to do while you’re visiting New York? Why not play the lead in Chicago? I mean, everyone else has and probably will! Madeline Albright, you’re in town to visit the UN – why not skip that one diplomatic lunch to knock out a few bars. Now that Nicole Ritchie has been offered the lead it’s also a sad indictment on crap celeb wannabes like Amy Polumbo. Poor Amy. She pretended she was being blackmailed for a little press when she won the Miss New Jersey pageant and didn’t even get to play Chicago.

Would this show just freaking END? Plus, you know what? I do resent having to type the words Nicole Ritchie as well. I resent it but I understand why it had to be done. [source]

No comments: