People Magazine has broken the fascinating story that Jessica Simpson is not, in fact, the incarnation of failure that her life over the past two to three years would so clearly and relentlessly suggest. While her recent cinematic masterpiece “Blonde Ambition” was actually borderline cinematic abuse and only made around 2000 dollars in the US in its opening weekend, in the UKRAINE, it seems, she’s a much bigger star.
Her latest film, Blonde Ambition, hit No. 1 in Ukraine, grossing $253,008 for the weekend of Feb. 14-17, Box Office Mojo reports.
Of course, people in the Ukraine also pay for things with goats, potato liquor and hemp so it’s likely that the box office takings were actually even higher. What a stunning insight this is into the cultural density of the Ukraine.
Apparently, people from the Ukraine like escapist movies even more than Americans so if they’re presented with the choice between reality and a Jessica Simpson movie, they’re statistically quite likely to choose the latter quite quickly. I think that’s actually extremely distressing and I’d be willing to research and see if that qualifies them for some kind of international intervention. A cultural intervention wherein the nation is given free Prozac or something. Something must be done for the people of the Ukraine. They are nationally depressed. [source]