Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

A 17 year old who died in a car accident was buried and everything a little while ago but then, no one stepped forward to pay the bill so his headstone was re-possessed. Eventually, the kid’s class mates raised the money and paid for it. What an extraordinary business to be in. The repossession of headstones. “Yeah, I’m really where I want to be in terms of career. If people die and don’t end up making provisions for their grave, I deconstruct the final physical indication that they existed. It’s a good company and there’s really a great coffee next door." [source]

A group of New Zealand vegans have announced that they are shunning sex with carnivores on the grounds that someone else’s body that is “made up of other bodies” is unattractive. Naturally that means that they won’t be sleeping with the Frankenstein monster even though it isn’t clear whether or not he ate meat. Also, in this case, it seems as though veganism has replaced what organized religion usually does for most people. As a result, if you peer past the hyper self righteous dogma of this particular group, there’s probably a whole lot of rape and trauma in their backgrounds that halts them from having sex in the first place. Not that people can’t decide who they have sex with or what they eat but the issue in these instances is usually not what it seems. [source]

I don’t know if this is statistically accurate but in Asia, people have less body hair on average than people in the west. What happens to all the unused body hair? Well, apparently, it’s relegated to one person who is completely covered in it and who is affectionately referred to (by himself) as King Kong. Mr Kong is currently on the campaign trail to carry the Olympic torch at the Beijing Olympics. It would be a great moment in the opening ceremony to address the Asia-based hair issue. In much the same way that Australia addressed the crucial “lawnmower” and “clothesline” issue back in 2000. Any money says that the Chinese government accepts him on the condition that he shave to look presentable. [source]

1 comment:

Gordo said...

Maybe his campaign would be more robust if he volunteered to BE the torch. At least the smoke would be more visible from a distance allowing everyone to feel part of the celebrations. "Whats that smell Chow Lin?" "That is the scent of celebration Lau Chin. keep your eyes shut - it burns"