The Reluctant Whore

Increasingly tasteless yet sincere and debilitating personality corset bursting insanity and or just a plain old complete lack of talent, it seems, aren’t deterring two of pop culture’s highest ranking officials from churning out musical gems. TMZ reports that Paris Hilton is graciously and with great humanitarian concern returning to the recording studio to put together another exceptional album and Britney has, as part of her new hands on management technique, delivered a song – possibly by hand – to TMZ.com in order to get it out there.


Quite a smart decision on her part, just as an aside, seeing as they relentlessly drive her into the ground, almost daily. Why not throw them a bone when you’re unhinged. They’re bound to call it quits.


So, If Paris and Britney were standing at a crossroads in the middle of the desert, each suggesting that she be followed and you had to make a decision about which way you’d turn based on the musical offerings they are making – as though the music were somehow emblematic of good or evil - you have to, hands down, side with Britney in this case.


Paris Hilton doesn’t actually exist to the universe beyond her physical presence or likeness. Her music is technically irrelevant to culture beyond collective knowledge that it exists. No one cares to listen to it and if they do it’s not a complete experience and is merely an extension of looking at her. Except you’re not looking you’re listening. She should really only be looked at if anything at all. Never listened to. If you listen, you are failing to consume her as she should be consumed.


Britney, on the other hand, is clearly infusing the old ways with the new in her latest single offering which was delivered to TMZ, no doubt freshly cleaned of vomit and chicken grease using Windex sprayed onto a 40,000 dollar Lacroix gown. With this track, on one hand there’s the generic, saccharine pop element with the scratchy beat and relentless breathy intro text but on the other the lyrics are all about her current deeply emotional plight:

And I lose control, and I hit the floor. And I say, hey, what’s your name? I am here…going insane.

And you know, there’s really some insight here into what Ms. Spears is going through because she probably did hit the floor after losing control and she most certainly is going insane. Kudos to you Britney for writing it down and putting it out there. Now stop doing everything. Now. [source] [source]