The Reluctant Whore

So Lindsay Lohan has a myspace account that only 75 people have access to. Someone has leaked her e mails to the press and included in her communiqués are lesbianic musings to Samantha Ronson, the male swagger afflicted boy girl DJ in LA. Oh, ok “afflicted” is the wrong word. It’s fine that lesbians sometimes have male swaggers, I don’t mind it. Ben Widdicombe reports that the messages said:

"Babe, if I don't have you in my life then I should just go die. ... I want to marry you and have children with you."

And

"Go to bed babe," she wrote to her pal late one night.
"I love you. - [signed] Lindsay Ronson."

Ok, so here’s the thing.

While Lindsay Lohan may in fact be a lesbian or bisexual at the least, the chances are she’s actually just a maniacally needy chasm of loneliness and whoever is there to offer up something, anything, is a viable partner.

The other explanation is that she’s doing the whole omnisexual thing that celebrities do where they appear to be…well, omnisexual – which transcends bisexual not in the sense that they have sex with everything (pencils, roast chicken, homework etc.) but that they have a sense of overall sexual-ness which exudes attractiveness to people. This is, of course, great for marketing. In this case, Lohan didn’t go global with it, she just kept it social but when you consider that Ronson is a paparazzi whore who was funneling stories about a drunk Lohan to the press for cash on the side – it seems like the sexual adoration thing was probably entirely projected.

Justin Timberlake does that or at least did for a while where he is just kind of cocky and courts the gay market in an underarm kind of way. Sadly, these days his cockiness has given way to aggressive narcissism and he’s just a pain in the ass.

The other person who seems to be doing this whole generalized sexual thing is the new guy Nick on Big Brother 8. Big Brother no matter where you are in the world is a great place to see where the cultures are at in terms of cultural trends and social permissiveness because it’s so base level that there’s no room for pretense after a while. Nick, the new footballer, A and F store manager, underlyingly gay guy who is really really affectionate with men is using the Timberlake marketing technique in one of the most unabashed ways seen in recent memory.

He looks like the quintessential American straight guy but he’s aligning himself with the gays. More in a “give me attention”, “mercy fuck” kind of way but he has a game plan.

So, in short Lohan could be a lesbian but she’s too fucked up and needy to actually be able to tell for sure yet. She’s probably just bisexual. She could be taking that inclination towards needing or gaining massed approval to a marketing and professional level but isn’t. Nick from Big Brother is hot but he’s playing the gay guys because he knows he can and it’s sort of sad. [source]