Monday, July 23, 2007

In an item clearly leaked to the New York Post by the publicist for Jennifer Lopez’s new, no doubt “Glitter”-esque cinematic triumph “El Cantante” (actually, maybe after Monster in Law and Gigli the leak was actually made by J Lo herself, at 3am, as she sat nervously on the side of her bed, agitatedly staring at her sleeping, oblivious husband) which gave us all a little much sought after insight into what it was like on set for the husband and wife team as they filmed a tumultuous relationship for the film while maintaining their very own in real life. Imagine the complexity!

Why, this is almost as complex a life issue as when Nikki Taylor was in that Max Factor ad years ago where she was getting out of a cab, sort of nearly dropping her purse and going into the Plaza Hotel at Central Park South. You know those scenarios where even though she’s marketably stunning, she too has her bad days – like when she almost drops a lipstick. Max Factor saw it through with her though, like a best friend, she rolls her eyes, laughs and gets on with it.

But I digress.
So, J Lo and the husband had to film a whole lot of abuse scenes for the movie and they found it confronting. But then, and this is another way that celebrities help us because you might want to take a pencil and pad and write down this insight that J Lo offers up - on the way home each night in their limo that runs on the blood of dead Vietnamese babies, (apparently Viet baby blood is a much better fuel than gas because any odor it emits isn’t so reminiscent of the unpleasant ghetto from which its occupants have so clearly risen) surrounded only by the hand picked entourage of loin cloth clad flunkies who are not permitted to look them in the eye or ride in the limo actually – they have to run alongside the car and keep up – the two of them would simply look at each other and say, “We’re so normal”. And that’s pretty much all it took to get back to zero. So, why not try that at home when things get a little confronting?
Yep, anyone who calls Red Lobster ahead to rope off a section for personal use is, in fact, normal. With a post like this it’s hard to decide whether to point out the obvious or just go in the complete other direction and hammer it into the ground. We have no air conditioning today so, in my mist induced haze, I went for a little from column A, and a little from column B.

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