Wednesday, July 18, 2007

The New York Post is cunningly reporting today that O J Simpson has been drinking the pain away since he was “tricked” into cooperating with the publication of the pseudo confessional book “If I Did It” which may not even be published. Of course, the issue is that even if it is published he won’t get the profits.
So, wait: he didn’t write it and he’s not getting the profits. So, essentially he did nothing and receives nothing. Gee, my heart is bleeding. Oh, wait, he did get to probably murder someone and then not go to jail. It must be so upsetting for him.
The other question that begs to be asked is, why is he only starting to drink NOW? Are we to honestly believe that this is the point in his unbelievably distasteful existence that he has started to download the cultural horror that he has become and only NOW he’s started to drink? Wouldn’t any thinking person have started to drink the minute they looked at the rushes from the Naked Gun movies? Oh, ok, that’s kind of harsh. They were funny for a while; the one liner jokes that were clever but never really inspired a sincere laugh other than the one you burp out after you’ve put the obvious pieces together like clockwork every two minutes throughout the movie.

But wait.
Also, what kind of trick is it that involves saying to OJ, “Hi, we want you to pretend to write a book that is an apparently fictional recounting of the course of events where the outcome is that you absolutely killed your wife. This is all despite the fact that you got off. We'll have a ghost writer do most of the leg work.”

It’s not like they called it “O J Simpson’s pleasant leap through the flower bed”. The idea with the book seemed pretty clear.
Lohan is doing drugs with her alcohol tester bracelet on and The Post is covering Simpson’s apparently surprising alcohol consumption? Yes. Indeed. [source]

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