Monday, July 16, 2007

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

Responding to the popularity of the Harry Potter films, most notably the one that just opened, an Indian magician has decided to open a school of magic. He is currently in talks with a university to get a curriculum together. Any parent would be a fool not to send their child to a school that held classes involving illusion, ash and probably cows somehow. Also apparently, Indian magic involved ash and there isn’t ever too much ash around so it could also be a service based thing. [source]

After a flood hit China, 2 billion drowned rats were shipped to Southern Chinese restaurants so that they may be eaten. Because you couldn’t While the idea of eating rats in New York is beyond horrifying, apparently, the flesh is actually influenced greatly by the rat’s diet prior to death. New York rats eat hate and fast food and they squeal all the time with the inevitable evil laugh of a being that exists on such a diet but, look, maybe the rats that drowned in China weren’t eating the same thing as those in New York. Maybe they ate a charming, low carb, raw diet of bok choi and rice. Either way, those rats drowned which means that they don’t have to be marinated. They already were marinated. Marinated to death. [source]

In Germany a woman got on the bus and sat down but, while they were covered, her breasts existed and were visible to the driver. He had her get off the bus because he couldn’t concentrate on driving the bus. Ordinarily you’d probably say, “No, just be professional” but at some point, there are some people who you know are simply not going to ever be capable of that and so they sit there and simply maintain that infantile mindset until they die. Someone who has that little ability to deal with their own sexuality could only ever be a reformed rape addict or heavily religious. It’s weird that this happened in Germany. One could presume that if she had been covered in animal feces he would have prematurely ejaculated. I really don’t know why I can’t let go of the bestial, scat porn in Germany thing. It’s like the only thing I ever say about Germany. [source]

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