Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Despite her genuine lack of talent and the fact that the public are not so accustomed to a human emotion infused version of her, Paris Hilton has managed to audition AND score a role in the film "Repo! The Genetic Opera" - a musical set in the year 2056. It sounds like it could be slightly Blade Runner, slightly Mars Attacks and of course, with Paul Sorvino attached, it will be at least somewhat mafia based and so there will most certainly be two elongated scenes where a bunch of Italian guys sit around talking about or eating salami and pasta with tomato sauce on top. Actually, who am I kidding they’d be talking as they eat so you can see what’s in their mouths and probably one of them will choke or be shot and the entire meal will be ruined. It’s such a shame when that happens. All that top quality Italian food being stained with the blood of gangsters.

Regardless, it’s interesting that after all that effort went into creating Paris as a star the world couldn’t get enough of and, she’s more or less destined to end up where her mother left off – acting in arguably lame film projects to mocking, ironic acclaim.

Kathy Hilton is probably sitting in a chair right now, clutching a large, heavy tumbler full of gin staring straight ahead at a mirror and all she can see is her dreadful, soul burning failure.
Actually, realistically, this could be exactly what Paris needs to regain some cultural relevance now that her paper thin substance has started to dissolve in the face of Posh Spice and Lindsay Lohan. And her own unattractive, translatable humanity. If she can just not suck and can attempt self deprecating irony she could easily be the next Joan Collins. And pretty soon there’ll be a space for that because there’s only so long Collins herself can keep the years at bay with staplers and a blow torch before her head just falls off. [source]

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