Sunday, July 22, 2007

Top 3 of the Weekend

Senator Robert Byrd of West Virginia lashed out at Footballer Michael Vick when it was revealed that Vick had been training dogs to be viscous fighting animals that people can bet on. The dramatic pauses in this speech rival that of a Pinter play. In this case, however, while we’re all on side with the Senator, the likelihood of it being a dramatic pause over simply “dancing as fast as he can” is unlikely. Still, how often do you get to really use the word “barbaric” and refer to Hell so melodramatically in the Senate without being a delusional Republican who is culturally jarring to everyone but those reliable hicks in the fly over states that keep you elected. Never really, so kudos to Senator Byrd. reports that Alli Sims, Britney’s assistant cousin wants to be a pop star too. Talk about burying the lede. This comes out on a weekend when no one is watching. Could it be that she wants to ease into trying to become a primary source of paparazzi subject matter rather than just blatantly announce it? The latter might look a tad exploitative of old cousin white trash head shaver, Brit. Regardless, apparently all you need, it seems, is a little relentless exposure to be a pop star. She better not come out with an empowerment anthem aimed unofficially at the gays with a minor beat that is heavy on the bass. [source] [source]

David Beckham actually did take to the paddock and kick the ball despite his injury. That’s the kind of brand loyalty 50 million bucks a year buys you, it seems. He went on and played for the final 12 minutes. The thing is, with all the PR they’ve been doing it’s actually viable that the whole thing was just about suspense. Perhaps David Beckham playing and entire match is the prize you get at the end of the campaign. Kind of like those built it yourself robots on TV where you buy a new piece each week. If you buy the entire thing, the prize at the end is your reward for adherence. In other words, it’s the old Gypsy Rose Lea technique of always leaving them wanting more. Posh has already been doing the same thing with her winning personality, pleasant social nature and soothing tone of voice. She hasn’t been out much but when she does go out, BOY do we want more of her. [source]

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