Friday, July 20, 2007

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

Because of the direct implications on humanity, Finnish researchers are studying the stress levels of fish in an aquarium that is will be in close proximity to a rock concert performed by elderly rockers, Uriah Heep. What happens if the fish are totally stressed out of their minds and start leaping to an airborne death? Clearly, then, music by the band will not be marketed to fish like trout or salmon. The oily fish. As is commonly known, oily fish are a stubborn demographic. When you eat them they are good for your brain but are ironically a fickle and temperamental contingent. [source]

A woman in South Korea who stole thousands of dollars so she could buy essential items like luxury shoes has more or less officially been classified as a “luxury addict”. Sure, this isn’t the first time people have stolen to buy things they can’t afford, but the issue here is with the coining of the phrase “luxury addict” a million high maintenance gay men on the verge of being drag queens were just mobilized and validated. Stand by for high impact glitter. [source]

A dog in Wisconsin ate 750 dollars in cash (as opposed to eating 750 dollars in credit, yes, I guess the statement is sort of redundant. Rather than just have a good natured giggle about it as you would if it were say, a kitten or your child’s arm, for this dog’s owner, panic ensued. What’s to do? Well, rummaging around inside the bowels of a live dog is about as difficult as it is unpleasant so the owner waited until the dog shat somewhere and then she searched through the pile of dog crap for that money. Think that’s vile? Hold on to your lunch because actually, some of the money came up in envelopes of vomit as well. All in all, it was a jolly afternoon in Wisconsin of weeding through dog shit and vomit just to be able to make rent. [source]

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