The Reluctant Whore

With Lohan working as hard as she can and more or less succeeding at destroying every facet of her life as she knows it, a lot of people are sitting around speculating about how she’s going to get through, what’s actually going on in her head, how much other people are to blame etc., how many diseases must she have at this point, is she insurable and what does she eat for breakfast. Well, look that’s just fine because those are all important questions. Certainly more important than the ones being asked at the Alberto Gonzales hearings.

Only a fringe dwelling dark minded few have managed to cut to the core of the issue and ask when Lohan will, in fact, top herself and when you think about it – all crassness aside and also, certainly with no wish for this to happen at all – it’s not actually that unreasonable a question.
Rather distastefully, the morbidly fascinating site http://www.theghoulpool.com/ and the equally offensive www.youbettheirlife.com , both of which giving punters the chance to win money if they guess who dies when, have in fact broached the topic and as it also being reported on TMZ.com, the probability of Lohan’s untimely demise due to self reflection based shock has actually increased in odds.

If the girl deals with a blooming career and mammoth international interest in her by relentlessly getting completely and utterly tanked and high on chemicals, commandeers a car with people in it and then, with the look of a possessed and bloodthirsty rabid wild boar/dog beast drives in irrational pursuit of someone else – all the while her tongue definitely (probably…maybe) hanging out the side of her mouth as her eyes glow with vicious demonic purpose then having everything ripped away from her at once could feasibly cause her to want to and in fact, end it all.

Anna Nicole Smith pioneered the way in publicity coups by dying of a terminally infected soul and now, with Lohan, it seems mathematically more likely that that coup could be outdone. Again, not that that’s what I’m hoping for at all – it would be horrific if she did kill herself but it is a question that stands to be asked – especially seeing as every other question has been so far. [source]