The Reluctant Whore

Lindsay Lohan’s coke snorting, hooker banging (while filming) starfucking, talent not-having boyfriend has dumped Lohan but he’s actually stated, according to the always editorially reliable www.contactmusic.com that he did so because now that Lindsay Lohan is sober, she’s no fun anymore.

Jesus, “Lindsay Lohan is sober now” is the new “Katie Holmes really is pregnant.” From Tom Cruise …’s people. We know. We know she went to rehab. We know that in the same basic way we all more or less got saturated with and finally just gave in and believed Cruise’s borderline abusive insistence that Katie Holmes was impregnated…somehow.

Fine.

To be civilized we need to either have Lohan drink herself into oblivion and then walk out on stage somewhere and vomit on Meryl Streep’s face OR she never touches another drink and we move on. Either way is fine, but can we just have it and accept it at this point?

Of course, that IS too much to ask because this little item, incidentally not reported as “news” but really as a reprint of a press release where on some sites like Trans World News they even state that it’s just a press release, is all part of the ongoing, genius campaign to make it seem as though Lohan has dealt with her addiction to pills and liquor prior to her August court date for DUI.

Did Calum Best actually say that or did he get a free trip to Europe or something in return for his cooperation? Maybe he just got cash. Or they didn’t slap him. [source]