Wednesday, May 23, 2007

In a moment of triumph for lesbian sharks who are single mothers that lobby for social equality, a hammerhead shark that gave birth in a Nebraska aquarium reproduced without mating. This isn’t the first time female animals have been pregnant and given birth to young without the aid of males. Last year there was a Komodo Dragon who, around Christmas time did the same basic thing except they lay eggs.

Yeah, that's right... Christians inclined towards their own particular brand of comedic rhetoric went breathlessly mad making jokes about the immaculate conception etc. Oh, that story proved to be a real riot – especially when the joke’s punch line ends up being fumbled endlessly by people eager to promote their religion by way of a pregnant iguana.

Just after the alpha lesbian shark got knocked up in Nebraska, virgin births by white spotted bamboo sharks were reported in Detroit.

Does this mean that sharks are the first species to evolve to a level of self sufficiency that shows a disconnect between ongoing inter-gender socializing and pregnancy; something that could be a scientific pre-cursor to explaining the biological significance of sexual diversity? It just may!

It’s a last-resort tactic that animals use when they absolutely can’t find another mate,” Dr. Hueter said.


It’s all over the place,” Dr. Schuett said.

And well, look. They’re doctors so they’d know wouldn’t they? But here is another option. Maybe keeping sharks in separate tanks based on gender promotes the same kind of behaviour in sharks that Catholic school does in teenagers. They just work around it and then, further on down the line – after being pumped full of inane “abstinence only” education those secret late night rendezvous between frightened school kids, or in this case, sharks who are in denial of what they’re doing actually ends up CAUSING more pregnancy than it would if they were just taught the truth about sex education and if they were allowed to hang out at lunch.

I had a fishtank with a couple of fish in it and they not only managed to jump out but they managed to jump out through a tiny opening in the top of the tank. I mean, how did they find that tiny hole? They only have a three second memory. They must have really wanted to get out of that tank and die. Think about it. [source]

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