Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

Just like when the police confiscate things and then auction them off at a lower price later on for charity or whatever, people lose things in airports and those things are auctioned off as well. And when people lose things in airports its likely that they are crucial components to daily living because they were packed for a trip. Which is why it’s really cool that not only did someone find a male chastity belt and several wedding dresses (we can only assume they were both to be at the same time by the same weird, fat arts administrator late at night in an underground club in Berlin) but ALSO that an auctioneer had to present it and then wait until someone sheepishly bid on it. [source]

An American tourist went for a walk through a German town completely naked and people complained. The police stopped him and he was stunned that they cared, stating that he assumed that walking around naked was perfectly fine in Germany. It’s so interesting how the first line of this news story has to make sure we all know that the tourist was American. As though that somehow explains the craziness. It’s far more likely that the man was under the perfectly reasonable impression that it was ok to walk around naked in Germany as it seems like, next to high quality German design, sausages, beer and genocide – Germany’s main export is dark sexual practices celebrated in the open. Like eating shit and smiling about it. Germans complained but did anyone ask them specifically what was wrong? It seems far more likely that they were upset he wasn’t on all fours wearing a leash and squealing like a pig than that he was naked. [source]

Clearly, there’s a global epidemic of galacticly stupid criminals at the moment because a thief in New York City just broke into a local politician’s home, robbed them and left a resume and set of house keys behind. When the woman in Tajikistan tried to send 17 kilos of heroin to Russia in a fridge via DHL, it was sort of like sending a letter to the police explaining what she’d done and where they could find her. This is much much closer to that in a literal sense. Mind you, in that it’s a New Yorker, you’ve also got to factor in that they were a messy combination of hyper ambitious and out of their mind. [source]

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