Thursday, May 24, 2007

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

Dolphins off the coast of Wales actually make noises that have Welsh inflections claim scientists who have spent a while professionally wondering about whether or not that’s actually the case. It is. and what’s more, dolphins off the coast of Ireland do the same etc. It is also at this point that you’d insert an hilarious joke about how dolphins in Ireland drink and fight and seem to have a global case of small man syndrome and how dolphins in Wales spell words in ways that don’t look like they sound. And also, that they have a Prince who is in line for the DOLPHIN British throne. Yes, this is where you’d find those clever references. [source]

Maddeningly large African rats have invaded Florida and now local wildlife officials are faced with the task of getting rid of them. They’re laying poison etc. Ok, great so but maybe it’s also indicative of a much bigger and more hysterical, religious based terror that is about to befall the entire of humanity. Perhaps this is the ACTUAL Apocalypse. Maybe the details were wrong in the Bible. First Britney goes mad and sort of churns out some sub standard dance moves on stage in Orlando and Miami and now, the local government is forced to deal with what is obviously a growing giant rat infestation. The demise of a pop star and an infestation of rats. This version feels slightly more culturally relevant that Four Horsemen. These rats are HUGE too. In New York they’re average sized but they’re viscious and full of hateful intolerance. In Venezuela, at the foot of the Andes, rats are white with light brown spots and they’re not as filled with an appetite for blood and filth as their New York relatives. In Africa and now Florida, they’re massive. It’s probably corn syrup based. Is there a central point to this post? Yeah, nah. [source]

And while we're on the topic of extraordinary stories about animals, here's an amateur clip that was posted on towleroad. Truly extraordinary stuff. [source]

1 comment:

Huuullllooowww said...

Why are you incessantly attacking short people. Now Dolphins have short-man syndrom. I'll bet you a closet short man?

Soon the NY rats will develop small rat disease which will ironically eradicate their other ailments and make them acceptable pets to comfort the rat-sized dogs while parents are ferociously licking each others egos and laughing at Rosie.

Can I get a gig as a celebrity (e-list) writer?