Monday, May 14, 2007

Page Six reveals that, surprise surprise, there was fighting tension backstage between Linda Evans and Joan Collins in the play "Legends" - recently playing to ironic acclaim in LA.

Gosh, couldn’t see that coming.

With Joan Collins, it seems like a formula. Well, two. It seems to start out with an actual earnest attempt at dramatic creativity then, minutes after she’s on stage or in front of the camera, the same earth shattering memory jolt – the one that kicks her in the face and reminds her again why she’s never done any critically acclaimed work.

“That’s right!” her brain recalls with a certain kind of relief. “This is always so embarassing and difficult because there's no talent inside this body! Oh, that’s right…we knew it had to be something big. It’s amazing how easy it is to forget about what you’re capable of when you spend so much time having your skull lifted, stapled, vacuumed, twisted, taped and painted! Ok, so what now?”

And it’s at this point, with nowhere to turn to avoid the crippling horror of who she is, the gorgon within emerges, enraged. In short: the unpleasantness unfolds.

Then, she lets out her true self. Namely, a bitter, angry, maddeningly narcissistic, demanding, needy freak-diva who just cannot accept the fact that she’s not a sex bomb any more and will hammer her own skull and the skull of any one near her to rid herself of the rapidly approaching, unavoidable age that is showing on her temples and in her neck flab. And so she acts out and pushes another diva into a pool or throws a vase.

Paradoxically, because it’s a gesture that comes from somewhere real – ie. her own terror at looking at herself, it resonates as authentic so people respond. Well, acidic, bitchy queens and bored, frosting fat housewives certainly do – that’s for sure. [source]

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