The Reluctant Whore

What is it; some kind of family legacy? Just ride something. ANYTHING. Just RIDE it until you’re famous and rich. It’ll happen. Actually, that might go well in Latin on a floating ribbon that encircles Virgie Arthur’s family crest. Perhaps I’ll write a letter to Virgie suggesting it. In the meantime however, Anna Nicole’s half sister, Donna Hogan, is trying to ride the Anna Nicole train to some form of ultimate notoriety and acclaim by essentially becoming Anna Nicole or at least positioning herself as a kind of authority on Anna. She’s laying all the right foundations too.

First up, she’s written a book called Train Wreck (no word on whether or not it includes complete sentences) which is her own “insider version” on Anna Nicole. Good. That’s a good first step. Here, she’s essentially setting up her cultural anchor to relevance in a primary source.

She’s also coloured her hair to look like Anna and she’s quoted in the Post as saying she wants to get her body where it needs to be to pose for Playboy. Namely, to stuff her chest full of silicone and…well, now here it gets tricky. She SAYS,

“I just want to get my body to where I want it and I'll be ready to step in and do it . . .”

which could either mean that she’s wanting to seriously fatten up on buckets of uncooked donut batter and strawberry frosting and then staple her top lip up so it permanently shows off her liquid paper whitened teeth OR she needs to starve away that double chin so she can appear in a magazine. Either way, she’s acknowledging that she’s not at her optimum body just yet. Ok, good on her.

At the end of the piece, Donna Hogan is quoted as saying:

"I don't even believe Anna thought she would ever see any of that money. It was just a tool she used for keeping the media interested in her."

It’s funny because if you took out the subjects, you could end up with a quote that could essentially sum up Donna.

“I don’t even think Donna thought she would see any of that Playboy based notoriety. Shamelessly sponging off the memory of her dead sister was just a tool she used for keeping the media interested in her.”

Oh, what the Hell, Anna’s dead. Someone’s got to carry on the “12 year old mind in the body of a greedy, truck stop whore” family legacy. [source]