Monday, May 14, 2007

Today in Extraordinarily Odd

Brochures that guide Catholic pilgrims to the Fatima shrine in Portugal for some quality soul washing (a Catholic shrine commemorating the first time the Virgin Mary appeared to some shepherds in the hills of Portugal) are currently peppered with ads for hookers and aphrodisiacs and the resulting kerfuffle is the stuff quality HBO dramas are often built on. The thing is, when you strip away the emotional reaction the “saddened” shrine people are having it’s probably some stellar work on behalf of the advertising guru who booked those ads. If you’re a sex worker or you’re selling some chopped liver that is supposed to pep up libidos your best bet are Catholics that have just traveled all the way to a holy shrine. They’ve probably just confessed, done their token penance, the guilt’s been washed away and now they have a clean slate upon which to rack up some really good solid iniquities. Which ones? Well, when you’re on holidays paying for sex doesn’t count so…[source]

So, topping the list of inane purchases, well, actually still second to the time that woman in Hong Kong who shelled out 20 million bucks for an antique tea cup a fascinatingly bored kadrillionaire from the UAE just quelled the soulless boredom and paid $6.8 million for a license plate that has one number on it. The number 5. Oh, ok. No problem. If it had been 4 then no way. But 5? Definitely worth it, there’s no doubt about that. Actually, seems like it was a real steal. Now, how about you pay a half a million bucks for a good hard kick in neck. [source]

German national soccer team captain Michael Ballack and Bayern Munich goalkeeper Oliver Kahn are each getting 50,000 Euros after a company marketed dildos using their names without their permission. So, basically, the sex toys – which the polite Bloomberg people won’t describe but we can only assume were dildos supposedly taken from a cast of the two players – were named the Michael B and the Oli K which is just similar enough to resemble the players’ actual names and probably sold well and truly beyond the 100K payout. What straight male soccer fan from Europe wouldn't secretly buy a product meant to be the exact phallic likeness of a macho hero? That's right, only some of them, meaning that essentially everyone wins in sex toy based identity theft. [source]

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