Thursday, May 10, 2007

The extravagantly beautiful and heterosexual David Gest is a heterosexual man. It’s just as we all knew and never doubted. In line with that heterosexuality, he’s at it again with those vastly necessary graphic descriptions of his heterosexual fantasies; this time with Amy Winehouse. He’s been quoted as saying:

"I would kiss the mole on Amy Winehouse's face and every tattoo on her body and I'd stick my tongue in the gap where her tooth is missing. I love her."

A while back, after interest in the shocking wedding photos had dissipated just minutes before the actual marriage to Liza did, just as we, the public, were perhaps forgetting that he was heterosexual as he paraded about with his gayer than hell earrings and oddly wax like face, he blessed us all with a little tale of what he’d get up to with Liza. Sexually. Just in case you forgot, here’s what he said:

"Donald Trump said to me that night I have never seen a kiss like that in my life. I was so excited and so in love that when I took my tongue it looked like I was eating a part of her because I went all the way through her mouth. It looked like I was a shark going in and I took every part of her mouth out with my tongue. And it was like a nine-minute kiss. When I saw it three months later when we were in bed I took the covers over me. I was going: 'Oh my God, Liza!'"

We can only assume they cut out the end of that quote where he went on to say,

“…my HAIR! God, I think I need an eye lift….tell me the truth…do I still look cute?”

Rest assured Mr Gest. not only is there no doubt whatsoever about your heterosexuality there’s also no doubt that if anyone wants to really focus on becoming a successful bulimic all they need do is eat a hearty lunch and ask you about your physical infatuations with women. Because he’s bound to have so… many being such a heterosexual. [source]

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