The Reluctant Whore

Jeannette Walls is reporting through MSNBC (speculatively) the full, bleeding heart melodramatic tragedy that was Britney’s mother’s day and all the elements are there to make it one of the most perfect celebrity gossip stories since Paris was sentenced to jail. Admittedly, the time between the two is really only about 2 minutes but that makes up 2 minutes of having to sit here without at least two streams of top quality vicarious celeb gossip to obsess over and frankly 1 minute alone is enough to kill an ox so thank crap for Brit.

Anyway, turns out that in her post divorce alcohol and drug fueled meltdown, Britney not only dated the wrong men who seemed to want to fuck her and then sell the story for tens of thousands of dollars to the tabloids, she also kept parceling out the blame for her rehab stint and everything else more or less to her family and manager. Consequently, when Mother’s Day came around what did Britney do for her mother? Well, nothing. Nothing at all. She didn’t call and she didn’t go and see her mother. How shocking and also appalling. It’s easy to feel like you’re a better person when you look at what Britney just did to her mother.

But wait. There’s more. Britney’s mother is currently in hospital. Sick. With pneumonia! It’s extraordinary!

Mother’s Day! A Mother’s love rejected! Hospital! Sickness! Neglect! Celebrity! Meltdown! Wigs! Who could ask for anything more!

The sadness is melting away and it feels like forever. [source]