The Reluctant Whore

And once again we’re presented with yet another horror story about what Paris Hilton can expect from jail. Yet again, it's from someone who knows from personal experience as Page Six reports all the horror that high class hooker Natalia McLennan remembers from her own time in jail and some requisite advice about how to survive. And it's frightening and psychological torture and weirdness and dark...ooooooOOOOOoooooo

My my how the tables have turned on Ms. Hilton in the most predictable way imaginable. Could she be any more the embodiment of pure celebrity? One minute she’s celebrated for being the effortless embodiment of all ill conceived, vicarious escapist American desire and is paid just to show up and act ambivalent and the next we’re not only laughing while she’s down; we’re also kicking her in the neck and pushing her face into the mud.

In between the relentless published warnings and horror stories are the ones like the one from yesterday which is based on the fact that Paris’ therapist says she’s a total wreck. And he’s a therapist so it’s conclusive not just gossipy spectulation from one of her half conscious rich kid friends. So, when it comes to press coverage you ultimately have either advice to Paris from people like Patty Hearst and Natalia McLennan about how Paris will need to watch her back in the prison showers from the heckling beastly lesbians and will need to prepare for the shocking food or you have her therapist professionally vouching for how fucked up she is right now. Either way – the stories are anchored in propagating and proving that Paris isn’t doing well now and just how bad it’s going to be for her which is inherently about cashing in on the evil side of the type of celebrity that is Paris Hilton. It’s Yin and Yang; it’s simply not possible for a concept like Paris Hilton to exist in the manner she does and to maintain that status without weathering a little mob turning public beating and prison time every now and then.

Be Warned: Jail is simply the incubator though. Sure she’s upset about it and sure it’s going to be unpleasant but after Paris goes in, she’ll metamorph into a celebu-beast even more powerful and multi-faceted than ever before. Imagine: a skinny, tanned, blonde heiress that is easy to project heterosexual male desire on, who acts up at parties and who now has a certain level of depth because of her introspective time in jail. A certain rough, street cred if you will. Depending on how she acts when she comes out of the clink – as in, depending on how she wants to play it with her publicist – it’s not unreasonable to suggest that Paris Hilton may well be going in a girl only to come out a weapon. [source]