A Japanese hotel announces that it is interested in offering the next in a long and predictably derivative line of ways offered by international hotels for extravagantly wealthy people to mindlessly offload their cash. While they’re not exactly making history at all by serving up a martini that contains a diamond and costs ten thousand American dollars, (the Algonquin in Manhattan has been doing a virtually identical drink for years for a virtually identical price - well, ok, the Japanese hotel gives you a twist of lime. That’s…a major difference. Yes) at the end of the day, at least people who can afford it will still be able to burn money they could otherwise throw to somewhere like, say, totally desperate Darfur rather than face any social unpleasantness. There's got to be like three more inane menu item gestures left in this hotel gimmick idea until it's just seen as stupid and repetitive. Stop giving people diamonds in martinis - let's get fucking insane. Start getting rich people to pay millions for the chance to drink pond water or to stand in a white room. White air has extraordinary...err...properties that...er...make you inherently likeable. TEN MILLION DOLLARS PLEASE! [source] 
Giant rats, rats the size of DOGS no less (a spokesperson swears, no seriously!) are invading a hydropower station in Montenegro and eating the concrete. If those rats get through to whatever they’re aiming for then entire sections of the city could be plunged into darkness. Is it too early to suggest that an unholy army of darkness has taken the perverted form of vermin and are invading, which, in reality means that darkness is more or less already upon the city? Spiritual darkness? Either that, or this is the Rats of Nyhm happening in real life but sort of weirder and more freakish and evil. [source] 
Canada is on a search for its own historical scoundrel type characters because it feels it is too nice. Apparently while sane attitudes towards guns are keeping gun related deaths down, Canada is finding it hard to get a date to the prom so it’s looking to show that Canadians can be bad boys too. Ok, that aside, can we just all notice that the people running the campaign are the good folk at Canada’s Natural History Society who publish The Beaver magazine. The fact that Canada has a magazine called The Beaver and doesn’t bat an eye is far more hilarious than the fact that they think they’re too nice and maple syrupy. Could there BE anything funnier than watching a twin set clad matron with a gray bun perched tightly on the top of her head presenting the most recent incarnation of The Beaver to an eager audience of her peers? She’d say “The Beaver” so many times. (“I’ve been working really hard on the beaver for the past 2 months and even though I’m really tired I think it looks great…have a look, I’m sure you’ll all agree”) Total champagne moment. So anyway, nominations for scoundrel type Canadians, of course, include Celine Dion and Shania Twain. [source]
No comments:
Post a Comment