Monday, May 21, 2007

Britney Spears phoned in yet another lame ass concert of her tired old hits from years ago in Orlando and it seems people loved it despite an apparent lack of well…concert. According to People Magazine, Britney went on stage for a staggering 14 minutes and churned out the same saccharine, corporately produced, chemically addictive, music flavored product that totally worked prior to her meltdown. Problem is, it can’t possibly work now that it’s been revealed she’s actually got a soul and that it’s currently in a crippled state due to her realization that she has actual emotion; something she evidently didn’t realize prior to having kids and marrying K-Fed.

Plus, right at the beginning the backing CD skipped. No problem though, of course, she just smiled and told the audience she loved them.

So, let’s get this straight: She goes on for 14 minutes, fucks up lip-syncing as the sound doesn’t work, drags her tired, alcohol and fast food fueled body through some tired old dance routines while her 40 million dollar synthetic wig gets in the way of her face and Judy Jensen, 25, one member of the moronic Floridian audience actually says, "If Britney's going to make a comeback, it's going to be the best one yet. She looked amazing."

Well, sure! It will be “the best one yet” (what the fuck? Out of how many? How many do we have to sit through?) Except, there’s no way that Judy Jensen, 25, isn’t actually the intern of whoever is Britney’s publicist right now. But, let’s be fair – if Britney does manage a comeback it WILL be the best one yet. As long as she goes away for a while and comes back in some sensible shoes with a normal haircut and sits on stage in a white shirt, black tights with no shoes, cross legged under a stark white spotlight and proceeds to deliver a one woman show that explains everything she really went through to get to that breakdown, what it entailed as opposed to what the press showed and an acknowledgment of all the times she said yes to a corporate executive when she should have said no. THAT would be a comeback. [source]

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

For your information, I am THE Judy Jensen you are talking about. I have no affiliation with anyone who works for Brit or People. I was interviewed after the concert. I am by no means a "moronic Floridian" and definately take offense to that. I consider myself a true Britney fan... since the beginning. I have seen her 4 times in concert. Her audience for this one was the most hyped I have seen her fans. We're happy she's getting back on her feet and doing what she loves. Whether she lip syncs or not, she got your attention didn't she? I don't think you have the right to throw insults, especially when you weren't there and don't know what you are talking about.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Judy! I'm proud of Brit Brit. I am so happy for her. She's doing it to prove she still has it and apparently she still has it, CD skipping or not! Don't hate on the girl because she's more in the spotlight than you are....come on now. Are you the one that has been photogrpahed every step of your career? I think not! Give the girl a chance....at least she's doing something for herself, family AND her fans! I say go Britney and I can't wait for her to kick it up a gear so we can shove it in your face!

Anonymous said...

I think critics are simply people who want to be in the spot light like the stars and they just aren't quite good enough for the job so they sit around and find fault in everything the real stars do just like bullies (don't feel good enough about themselves so you have to talk about others.) I know you thoroughly enjoy all the come backs, this is the attention you hope for, especially since, as the author of this blog, you get to pick and choose which comments you actually post. Hope we've given you the satisfaction and attention you'd hoped for.

Anonymous said...

Brit Brit is shit shit Y'ALL

This blog is hysterical- you're just adding to the FUN with your ardent support of the b-bomb

Also, for some reason I am picturing you all as overly tanned 45 year olds in too-short frayed denim mini skirts- tell me am I close or WHAT

Cheryl said...

I agree with Judy Jensen y'all. It's blogs like this that exploit stars and paint a sordid picture of them being trampy whores who are divorced twice with some mingy kids named after processed sideplates and all by their mid 20's. Brit is making a stand for us women who have put it on the line to live a full life quickly. When I see Brit's success it gives me hope my decisions with kids n' that have been the right ones.