The Reluctant Whore

Because she’s more or less the human embodiment of all America's self loathingly desires, most of the gaping holes in Paris Hilton have been filled pretty effortlessly over the years. Hell, it was a versatile relationship; she filled the gaping void in America and helped people to avert attention from their horrifyingly common lives and in return it filled her gaping holes with adoration money and anything else...mostly on camera.

Now, with her jail time growing ever closer (13 days to go….) Paris seems to be looking for new options that won’t necessarily get her infected – at least with the wrath of a moralist judge. Cue: religion ….again and also reading(!) First she was seen using the old Fraulein Maria PR defense by dressing as a nun and going to Church with her sister and now she’s been photographed with a Bible in her hand and another book, the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle (which extols the virtue of living in the moment).

But, this isn’t the first time Paris has turned to religion when times have become tough. When Madonna was on the Christ-like bandwagon for Kaballah and everyone in LA was wearing red string bracelets, Paris had just broken up with some guy, maybe it was Nick Carter – I’m not that interested to really assert myself to find out because the point remains the same anyway - and to get over it she bought a 75 dollar bottle of water and a 50 dollar piece of string and then went on a long drive. All that Kaballah inspired meditation seemed to work too because at the end of that drive, fresh in the knowledge that she’d spent money – Paris was more or less recharged and ready to get out there again.

So, in addressing that mysteriously deep chasm in Paris Hilton that so much has been pushed into and in which nothing has stuck…yet, let’s hope this time the Zeitgeist finds solace in the Bible and in living in the moment. The “moment”, at this point, seems to be 23 days long and locked behind bars so unless she slams her own head against the wall and dies, living in that moment might be rather a challenge.

The other explanation for her Bible alignment is that, as she heads into the cocoon to become and even bigger celebubeast, she's taking on several different forms so as to appeal to as many different types of people as possible. She's expanding her appeal beyond the non-thinking middle American teenager, moron twink homo go go boy and sexually infantile trucker.