The Reluctant Whore

In a lot of ways, P!nk is a less crap, slightly less needy and only sometimes humourless version of Arvil Lavigne. Both seemed to emerge as the anti-Spears to make money of teenaged girls who like pop but are angry at their parents and therefore couldn't like Britney, Jessica Simpson or Haley Duff.

Consequently, just as it’s difficult to actually take it seriously when Avril Lavigne mouths off about how she beat up some dumb ass guy who just wanted to make out and then not sit with her at lunch in high school(you can’t censor her!), it’s sort of difficult to believe that Pink’s recent outrage at American Idol for wanting to censor her is anything more than a condition on her rider. For some reason this next bit reads better if you sound like a Sybil from Fawlty Towers.

Ok, Pink will need three bottles of Poland Springs water, some gummi bears, a box of Fruity Pebbles cereal, some Flintstones band-aids (Bam Bam and Pebbles on them please!) 6 different metallic pink Sally Hanson nailpolishes, three different shades of pink lipgloss, and a glitter pen.

Also, Pink requires a little public fight at the beginning with corporate styled producers of American Idol who should insist that she change her performance because they want to protect the audience from her confronting song lyrics. The fight should last no more than a day, in this case may I suggest that we let it be known that she was too edgy for the charity show but that she’s agreed to sing a different song for the next episode before we proceed as planned with the song test audiences indicated they liked best from the research we did last week before we let them go free. [source]