The Reluctant Whore

Candy Spelling is firing off open letters to people who look like they’re in trouble – first there was that hair advice to Larry Birkhead and now it’s Paris Hilton. Is she bored? Vying for an advice column or reality show of her own perhaps? Maybe after the birth of her grandson, that maternal sense that’s kicked in again after it was dislodged during a routine eye lift and then more or less shut down during the will fights with Tori.

Whatever it is - all of a sudden, Candy seems to have a certain sense of purpose that massive amounts of money and public feuding with her daughter couldn’t quite provide and it’s all happening via the press of course.

Here’s the letter:

Dear Paris,

As someone who has known you for most of your life, I pay special attention to your press coverage.

(Apparently, I'm not alone, based on the responses every word about you creates on TMZ.com and elsewhere.)

Paris, I'm very worried about you. The last week has not only been an obvious roller-coaster for you emotionally, but your strategy went from blaming employees and stating silly excuses like, "I don't read," to your new lawyer's tactic to have you sound mature and take some responsibility. In between, the paparazzi continue to follow you shopping and taking self-defense classes (to protect yourself in jail?), and some over-zealous friends staged embarrassing protests (three people?), and wasted taxpayer funds with a petition to pardon you.

People who are rich and famous are not treated like "regular" people, even though you claim to now be just like everyone else. In most situations, your privileged life works to your benefit. You have opportunities, access and resources like few others; and frankly, you can get away with more bad behavior and excuses than most people could even imagine.

However, as the real possibility of jail approaches -- whether it's 21 days or 45 or whatever the latest report is -- it's time to get real. It's time to find "a Paris" somewhere between "heiress" and a character on "The Simple Life." I know she's there, and I know she can be a good citizen and maturely face consequences other people would have to face under the same circumstances.

I am sorry you have been sentenced to jail. I can't think of too much that would be worse. But since you let this happen, use the next couple of weeks preparing not only by publicly learning to fight (not a good message to fellow inmates), but by looking around, realizing that you are not as truly entitled as your money implies. You are a young woman who can add more to her community than establishing new definitions for infamy.

Best,


Candy Spelling


Look, advice aside; the thing is, while both probably are from the same circles in LA and Candy probably could fill in a few of the gaping voids in Paris’ brain left by Kathy and Rick Hilton, what appears to bond them on a really basic level is that when deciding to have eye work done they both clearly opted for the same cut price, back room in Chinatown, Parkinson’s stricken plastic surgeon/amateur sushi chef. Look at these two photos! Both look like they've injected speed into one side of their heads. Either that or they both just love the early work of Stanley Kubrick. [source]