Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Sophia Loren, 72, has offered to strip down to her unmentionables if her favorite Soccer team, the team from Napoli, manages a few wins over the next few weeks. Apparently they haven’t been doing so well in recent years and Ms. Loren thought it might be a good idea to get helps the kids out by offering to get nude.

The rare brand of youthful appearance afforded to 72 year old Loren has got to be both the product of genetics, a top quality surgeon ie, not the kind found in the back room of a warehouse in Harlem that is frequented by tranny hookers who go back and forth between man and woman depending on when funds are available and generally aim for “veneer” of woman seeing as the whole thing is just too expensive. No, Loren goes nowhere near those face ruining hacks. She’s had top quality work done over the years and that combined with the strategically veil-like hair, the fine line blurring, half face covering sunglasses and the flowing frocks that mask her aging frame – she looks like a matriarchal chandelier.

It feels like maybe the whole set up of Sophia Loren’s campaign to remain ageless is about as fragile as an intricate and towering sculptural cake from that Cake challenge show on the food network where the chefs have to make the towering concept cake out of sugar and pound cake and marzipan and then they have to carry it across the room and most of the time the top just crashes to the ground. One quick gust of wind might undo thousands of dollars and decades worth of work on Ms Loren’s face and all of a sudden she’d just be a quivering mass of dried, tanned flesh with a posture that sits comfortably at about 90 degrees. Consequently, all credit to Ms Loren for her efforts but she may do well not to terrify sports fans in Napoli by taking her clothes off. Unless she only faces forward so we can’t see the clothes pegs on her back, pulling it all tight but even then it’s sort of pushing it. [source]

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